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雅思写作知识点分析(七十六)

发布时间:2021-03-08 关键词:雅思写作知识点

摘要:Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones. Which types of old buildings should be preserved? Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages?

       Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones. Which types of old buildings should be preserved? Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages?

雅思写作:3分钟学会一个雅思7分句(七十六)

  应对上面这个题目,学生在主体部分第二段写了如下一段话:

  One benefit is that, after refurbishing these antique buildings, more and more tourists are willing to visit there for one glimpse of the beauty. With the improvement of economy, people would like spending time and money on these things, due to the desire of enjoying their lives.

  教师修改后如下:

  One benefit is that after the refurbishment, these antique buildings can be attractions where tourists have a glimpse of the glorious history. With a much higher profile from them given, local tourism is expected to prosper, bringing more economic benefits.

  这段内容最明显的问题是论证逻辑错误:还没有点明益处是什么时,不要多来一句分析为什么这有这种益处。

  其次,分词短语的逻辑主语搭配失误:时间状语部分refurbishing的逻辑主语写成了主句主语more and more tourists,而这明显是不准确的,游客怎么可能来修复老建筑呢?最简单的修改方式就是改refurbish词性为refurbishment。

  词汇补充:

  refurbish v. 修复

  antique building 古建筑

  a glimpse of 初步的感受(which helps you appreciate it better)

  glorious history 璀璨历史

  give a high profile给予高关注度

  prosper v. 繁荣

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