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发布时间:2021-04-25 关键词:雅思写作知识点
摘要: Many cities have vehicle-free days, when people are required or encouraged to take a bus, bicycle or travel by taxi. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
Many cities have vehicle-free days, when people are required or encouraged to take a bus, bicycle or travel by taxi. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
应对上面这个题目,学生在正文写了如下一句话:
With the passengers on one track increasing significantly, this might cause those workers miss their bus and cannot be punctual eventually.
※ 形近词区分,track什么意思呢?是想用truck替换题目中的公交?还是想表示waiting in line的乘客多?措辞不清就难免让读者费解。
※ this might cause就多余了,with结构本身就可以表“原因”。
※ 因果关系固然常用,但不能随便写,逻辑通顺与否需要好好考量。
教师修改后如下:
With more bus passengers on car-free days, public vehicles will be overloaded, and this will reduce ride comfort.
解析:
※ 调整了原句的因与果,调整后的三环因果解决了理解障碍。
※ 伴随状语部分加入on car-free days,是为了更扣住题干关键词,强调这几天的乘客人数会激增。
※ 还是保留了原有的平行结构,两个独立句子的平行,逻辑上也有递进关系。
小总结:
当考生有能力铺设暗线的因果关系时,要注意不要在明面上再重复一遍。