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8月6日雅思大作文真题参考范文 | 间隔年的优劣势~

发布时间:2020-08-11 关键词:

摘要: 2020年8月6日雅思大作文题目间隔年的优劣势

      2020年8月6日雅思大作文题目间隔年的优劣势

      Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

  解析&审题

  题材:教育

  题型:讨论优劣类

  关键词:students + one year off + travel or work

  需要讨论的观点:上大学前先旅游或工作一年的优劣势

  建议思路:双边讨论+自己的观点

  复现情况:《剑桥雅思5》,test 2 ;2015年2月28日

 2020年8月6日雅思大作文题目间隔年的优劣势

  《剑桥雅思系列》今年已经出到第15本了,但本次考题居然重复了《剑桥雅思5》上的一道题目,也是重复2015年2月28日雅思原题。这道题目太经典了,相信学生都曾经练习过,或者背诵过相关范文。因此,今天参加雅思考试的同学应该是感觉很幸运了。

  我们知道,雅思作文题目中,要么是给出现象,要么是给出观点,然后让考生讨论“现象是好是坏”或者“是否同意这个观点”。无论是讨论“好坏”,或者讨论是否“同意观点”,其实都需要考生寻找论据来证明自己的看法。本作文提出的是一个现象,即一些鼓励高中毕业生先去工作一年或者旅游一年,再回来上大学,然后要求考生论证“这样做的好处和坏处”。

  由于题目明确要求讨论“好处和坏处”,因此本题不宜采用“一边倒”结构方式,也就是不适合只论证好处,或者只论证坏处,而是要同时讨论好处和坏处,也就是“双边讨论”。稍微想一想,我们不难发现“工作一年或旅游一年”的好处:开拓视野,学习人际关系技巧(物质层面),更了解自我的需求(心理层面)。但也可能有坏处:工作或旅游一年后,可能不再想回到大学,从而失去接受大学教育的机会。这样讨论完毕之后,就来到“双边讨论”的一个最重要的环节,即提出自己的观点。唐老师已经在多个场合下反复强调,“双边讨论”后要明确提出自己的观点,即到底是否支持“工作一年或旅游一年”,并给以简单的论证。这里,我觉得可以选择支持,因为开拓视野和了解自我实在在重要了,这会让之后的大学生活过得更充实,更有目的性,不至于浪费时光;同时,认为这一年会让一些学生不再上大学的可能性越来越小,因为大学学历在当今工作市场上已经成为一个必须条件。这样,在结论段,我们就从两个方面来论证自己的观点:一是正面论述自己的观点,二是反驳反方的观点。

  以下范文来自《剑桥雅思5》给出的范文。唐老师拟对范文进行解读和分析。

  范文

  It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

  The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

  However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.

  My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.

  老师笔记

  01

  It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

  如今,许多的年轻人在高中毕业后暂时中断学习,这是很普遍的。这一现象并不局限于有钱旅游的学生,对贫穷学生而言也很明显,因为他们可以选择工作一段时间,让自己经济独立。

  本段是开头段,其特点是在保持基本意思的前提下大幅改造题目中的表达法。我们知道,雅思作文的开头段有两种基本方法:(1)直接提出题目中的观点或现象;(2)描写题目中观点或现象。前一种方法可简称为“开门见山”法,后一种方法则给考生提供了更大的空间来展示自己的语言表达水平,因此也容易给考官留下的印象。本开头段使用了“描写法”,更准确的说,本开头段将题目中比较笼统的信息具体化了。题目中只说“学生被鼓励去工作或旅游”,但本开头段则提出“这并不局限于富裕家庭的学生去旅游,还包括家境不好的学生去工作以获得经济的独立”,这显然是把题目中“旅游和工作”两个关键词展开进行了描写。此外,由于本作文采取的“双边讨论”结构,因此在段结尾没有给出全文观点。与此相对照,如果作文采取“一边倒”结构,通常都需要在首段结尾给出自己的观点。

  解析

  (1)...to have a break from studying 中断学习

  (2)...be restricted to...局限于......

  (3)evident明显的

  (4)to become economically independent 变得经济独立

  02、The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

  造成这种现象的原因可能是人们意识到,直接从中学进入大学的年轻人在世界的一般知识和经验方面有相当大的限制。相比之下,那些花了一些时间来谋生或去其他地方旅行的人,有更广阔的生活视野和的个人资源可以利用。他们往往更独立,而独立在学术学习和研究中重要,同时也让他们在应对学生生活挑战方面更有优势。

  本段从正面论证学生“工作或旅游一年”的好处。可以看出,这里的关键词是三个:一是 “a broader view of life”, 二是 “more independent”, 三是 “better at coping with the challenges of student life”。其中,个理由是直接的,或老雅称为的“物质性的”,第二个理由是“心理性的”,第三个理由则是更深层次的“社会性的”。值得学习的是,范文没有使用机械的 “first...second...finally” 这样的连接方式,而是运用了更为灵活的方式。第1、2句论证的是个关键词(刚成年的人缺乏经验和知识,因此可以通过工作或旅游来获得更宽阔的视野和人际资源);第3句则将后后面两个原因合为一句,并用as well as来连接(工作或旅游可让他们更独立,同时让他们在处理学生生涯的挑战时更有优势)。

  解析

  (1)The reason ... may involve the recognition that... ......的理由可能涉及到人们意识到......,这样写显然比直接写The reason ... may be because people recognize that...要显得更书面化,也能显示词汇发幅度。

  (2)...better personal resources to draw on 的人际资源可以使用。词组draw on相当于use,但明显更准确地道。

  ...giving them an advantage in terms of...在......方面给他们优势,相当于...making them better in terms of...。

  03、However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.

  然而,在这个关键时期,休假当然是有风险的。年轻人可能永远不会回到他们的学习,或发现很难再适应学术环境。他们可能认为继续从事某份工作,或者做一些与大学课程完全不同的事情。但总的来说,我认为这种情况在今天不太可能发生,因为要获得一份像样的职业,学术资历是是必不可少的。

  本段讨论“工作或旅游一年”的问题所在,在劣势方面,本范文仅讨论了一个点,即学生有可能不去上大学了,或者即使回去了也很难适应学习环境。同学认为观点越多越好,但这其实是个误解。段落中的观点到底需要多少,得根据情况而定。比如本范文的第二段就给了三个分论点,而本段却只有一个分论点。为什么呢?因为本文最后支持的是“工作或旅游一年”,因此重点在提出支持的理由,而反对的理由就不需要花那么多笔墨,只需列出1-2条容易驳斥的理由即可。本段先用一个主题句,表明“工作或旅游一年”有风险,紧接着第二句提出这个风险(学生可能从此就不上学了,或者很难适应学校生活),第三句说这个风险产生的原因(因为他们觉得工作,或者做其它事情),第四句随即表明自己对这个“风险论”的观点(这个风险其实不大,因为现在大学文凭在就业市场上重要)。当然,有些同学会认为,应该把本段最后一句挪移到第四段。我觉得那样做有道理,但目前这样也没有任何问题。

  本段的词汇比较平易,并无什么大词,这再次印证了老雅的一个观点:雅思写作不需要大词汇,5000词汇足够。相对较难的只有particular, overall, qualifications, essential 等几个词汇,其余都是常见的词汇。但值得大家学会的一个词组是end up doing...,意思是“最后沦落为......”,唐老师在其亲自撰写的真题范文中使用这个词组,比如:

  解析

  (1) A student who mainly depends on the Internet for knowledge may end up a Jack of all trades but master of none.(《老雅版2017年雅思真题解析及范文合集》第23页)

  (2) Without the supervision of their parents and teachers, many children may end up being addicted to computer games or other unhealthy habits.(《老雅版2017年雅思真题解析及范文合集》第34页)

  (3) I know many ambitious people who end up in prison because they tried to realize their ambition through illegal means. (《老雅版2017年雅思真题解析及范文合集》第19页)

  04、My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.

  我的观点是,应该鼓励年轻人拓宽视野。对于他们来说,这是的方式来清楚地了解人生要做什么,以及为什么。有这种视野的学生通常也是学得最有效和最有动力的,而休假一年可能是获得这种视野的方式。

  本段给出自己的结论:明确支持“工作或旅游一年”,理由是对自己的人生看的更加明确的人工作最有效,也更有动力。由于在第三段结尾已经对反方观点进行了驳斥,本段就纯粹从正面论证为什么支持“工作或旅游一年”。通常,在“双边讨论”的作文中,结尾时必须明确表明自己的观点,方法是正面论证自己的理由,如果同时能对反方进行一个合理的驳斥就更完美。

  也许有些同学会问:如果这篇论文最后的结论是反对“工作或旅游一年”呢?唐老师认为,在这种思路下,文章的重点应该放在“工作或旅游一年”带来的问题方面(比如学生不想上大学了,或者不适应大学生活了),然后简要提及其优势(比如扩充视野),最后在结论段论证“大学教育现在多么重要,不上大学会带来多么巨大的损失”,并驳斥其优势论(比如,学生完全可以通过从事兼职工作等方式来扩充视野)。这样写也是完全可以的。雅思写作没有观点的对错,只有逻辑和结构是否合理,语言表达是否准确地道。


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