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发布时间:2020-09-14 关键词:雅思写作知识点
摘要:应对:Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as a school subject but others argue that it would be a waste of valuable school time.
应对
Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as a school subject but others argue that it would be a waste of valuable school time.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
这个题目
学生在开头段落的第 一句写了下面这句话:
Some people consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject, while their opponents regard it as a waste of school time.
我们来看教师修改后的句子,如下:
Learning global news may be a worthwhile subject at secondary school; it may also be a waste of time.
首先,是句子的简化。抛弃陈词滥调的无聊的some people … their opponent … 而更直接的说出了内容。
原句中的consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject和 regard it as a waste of school time都是繁琐的方式。改动后,be a worthwhile subject at secondary school和be a waste of time中用了be动词,在措辞上简化,让句子读起来更顺畅。这里特别注意这里用的是情态动词may,这样,“may be”就避免了去主观认定一种情况为事实,而是语气缓和地说了一种可能。
分号“;”替代了while,比起用while来联系两个分句,分号使得两个分句形更工整的结构。这里并不是对于错误的纠正,因为while的用法无误。这里只是故意用到特殊的标点符号来追求这个句子的节奏上的风格。
小总结
好句子是在形式上最求最简的形式,避免措辞上不必要的部分(长句子不是刻意追求形式上的长,而是出于内容的需要而长)。