马思涵：雅思小作文6大常见失分点

文/马思涵

　　“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, …… it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” 用英国作家狄更斯的名作《双城记》的开篇来描述当下中国“烤鸭”们正经历着的水深火热的情形，是再贴切不过的。梦想，仿佛触手可及，然而，雅思分数，究竟会成为考生们的福音又或是梦魇?

　　据雅思官方数据显示，写作是中国考生在四项考试中平均分的;而在全球各国考生写作平均成绩中，中国考生始终垫底。试问，这让勤奋刻苦的中国学子情何以堪?写作，缘何成为中国学子成败雅思的分水岭?让我们走近雅思学术类写作小作文，在评分标准的框架下，探讨怎样避免一些常见的失分点。

　　失分点之一：审题失误。

　　有的同学总担心时间不够用，拿到题目后，走马观花地扫了一眼图表，尚未完全理解图表信息就开始盲目动笔，有时甚至会误解图表中的信息。这样是不可取的。平心静气地花上5 分钟，仔细理解图表：看清楚坐标、单位，理解数据意义;寻找一些特殊数值，比如峰值、拐点、交点等;归纳图表中的规律和趋势;定夺描述的顺序，例如按时间顺序，还是按数据由大到小描述等。待到动笔时，已然胸有成竹。

　　失分点之二：直白的、流水式描述，毫无归纳总结。

　　按照官方发布的要求，考生应该有能力鉴别出“信息中关键内容并对之进行描述和写作”。所以，单纯地把曲线图的起落按时间顺序描述一遍，或是把柱状图从高到低介绍下来，又或是把饼状图按照比例大小一一罗列等流水账式的写作，是绝应该避免的。考生应该归纳总结明显的趋势或形式，按照清晰的逻辑顺序加以阐述。较为理想的描述方式是：在句子或段落中，首先用文字叙述主要的趋势，然后佐以数字支持;切忌单一的数据罗列。当然，在实际应用中句式应灵活变化，不必拘泥于此。试比较下列两组句子。

　　句1：In 1990 5% students received higher education in China. This figureincreased to 8% in 1992 and 10% in 1994.

　　句2：There was a gradual and stable increase in Chinese tertiary student numbers from 1990 to 1994, ranging from 5% to just over 10%.

　　句3：The period of 1990 to 1994 witnessed a slow and steady growth in thenumber of students enrolled in Chinese universities, from 5% to around 10%.

　　句1：From 1990 to 2004, the urban population of Shanghai increased from 6million to 18 million, and the number of Beijing rocketed from 3.5 million to 28million.

　　句2：China’s two most prestigious cities, Shanghai and Beijing, have undergone rapid growth surges in population. In 1990, the urban population of these cities hovered around the 5 million mark with Shanghai’s residents slightly surpassing that of Beijing’s. While in2004, Beijing’s urban population achieved a staggering 28 million and the figure of Shanghai also soared to 18 million.

　　显而易见，两组句子中，句1 都仅仅简单乏味地陈列了数据;而组中的句2、句3，先简明扼要地描述了趋势，随后，数字的引用可谓水到渠成。而第二组中句2，段首句提纲挈领地点明了主要变化，随后并没有具体列出两市在1990 年的人口但这种概括性的说明反而更加简洁有力。其后，数字的引用也很灵活。

　　为自己的逻辑思维、归纳总结能力，考生可以多阅读一些经济类文章，留意作者怎样处理数据的分类、对比、归纳等。

　　失分点之三：欠缺衔接、过渡词汇。

　　其实无论中英文写作，清晰的条理，自然顺畅的过渡都离不开一些关键的标志性词汇(numerals)和过渡词(transitions)。在雅思写作中，对于一天要阅卷无数的评分老师而言，这些词汇就等同于你为他们设下的路标，明确地引领他们走向你的目的地，传达你的思路。如果没有这些路标，他们很快就会迷失在你的辞藻中，不知所云。

　　以下段落是剑8 当中的范文，仔细体会粗体下划线标出的关键词汇的作用。

　　Expenditure on resources such as books had increased to 20% by 1991 before decreasing to only 9% by the end of the period. In contrast, the cost of furniture and equipment saw an opposite trend. This cost decreased to only 5% of total expenditure in 1991 but rose dramatically in 2001 when it represented 23% of the school budget. Similarly, the cost of insurance saw a rising trend, growing from only 2% to 8% by 2001.

　　在句意呈现转折时，可以使用however，contrarily, nevertheless,whereas, in comparison with 等;意思递进时，可以使用in addition,moreover, furthermore, what’s more 等。这类词汇还有，同学们可以每种选择几个自己用得顺手的积累起来，养成使用过渡词汇的习惯。

　　失分点之四：词性掌握不精，使用混乱。

　　学生背单词时囫囵吞枣，真正使用的时候就会发现掌握得并不扎实，不分词性地乱用，这是词汇方面常常失分的地方。上文也提到，其实图表题写作运用的词汇相对有限，所以考生在学习、准备时，多注意词性之间的变换，积累近义词、反义词，很快就能克服这一弱点。

　　变换关键词的词性改写下列句子：

　　1. Natural gas exports from Russia fluctuated wildly over the period.There were _____________________________________.

　　2. The purchases of train tickets dropped significantly after theChinese New Year.There was ____________________________________.

　　3. Britain emits 3% of the world’s carbon dioxides.Britain produces _________________________.

　　4. According to the pie chart, the U.S. consumed 37% of the energyused worldwide.According to the pie chart, the energy ____________ of the U.S.accounted for 37% of the total worldwide.

　　Answers:

　　There were wild fluctuations in natural gas exports from Russia over the period.

　　There was a significant drop in the purchase of train tickets after the Chinese NewYear.

　　Britain produces 3% of the world’s carbon dioxides emissions.According to the pie chart, the energy consumption of the U.S. accounted for 37%of the total worldwide.

　　失分点之五：动词使用混乱，完全不注意时态、语态、人称对谓语动词的限制。

　　对于这个问题，其实考生们只要稍加注意，错误是完全可以避免的。需要提醒的有两方面：1. 要熟练掌握不规则动词的过去式、过去分词，使其成为一种习惯，习惯成自然。2. 任何时候，写下一个动词，都要想一想，是否符合时态、语态、人称的限制。

　　失分点之六：无法驾驭复杂句型。

　　这可谓是中国考生最严重的失分点。因为，无论谋篇如何精彩，思路如何清晰，措辞多么系统，文章是要一句话一句话徐徐展开的。而薄弱的语法基础，欠缺熟练应用等原因，使得中国考生写出的句子常常错误百出。那么，怎样将句子写得准确无误呢?其实，英语句子的核心是动词，掌握好动词，各种句型都理解。

　　简单的说，动词在使用时，可分为限定动词和非限定动词。限定动词指，动词受到时态、语态、人称限制，而进行形式变化的动词。这时，这个动词可以承担谓语动词，使它所在的分句独立成为一个句子。

　　例如：

　　China became the largest export country in 1999.

　　Prices slumped.

　　The US ranked in the world’s top five as a car manufacturer in 1985.

　　而非限定动词，没有形式上的变化，包括：不定式(to do)、动名词(doing)、动词的现在分词和过去分词。它们不能充当独立的谓语动词，其所在的句子不能独立成句。例如：

　　The growth started to decline after a slight fluctuation.

　　The cost of insurance saw a rising trend, growing from only 2% to 8% by 2001.

　　The consumption of oil was the highest in 2005, followed by coal and natural gas, taking up 28% and23% respectively.

　　The table, combined with the bar chart, provides an overview of demographics of the United States from the early last century to the present.

　　之所以强调独立成句，是因为，独立的句子，是构成并列句和复合句的基础。并列句即为用and, but, or, for 等并列连词连接的两个或两个以上独立句子，这两个句子可以使用不同的时态。当主语相同时，后句的主语可以承前省略。例如：

　　As many as 78% of men were doing administrative work, whereas women who were working as salesand customer services staff rose to a record 75%.

　　The number of people who go to the cinema dropped 5% and 1.2% more people enjoyed watching TV

　　复合句是指，一个独立的句子担当了另外一个独立句子的一个成分，例如主语、宾语、表语、定语、状语等。担当成分的句子称为从句，如主语从句，宾语从句，表语从句等等，由从属连词引导，与主句连接。例如：

　　As many as 78% of men were doing administrative work, whereas women who were working as sales and customer services staff rose to a record 75%. (who 引导的定语从句)

　　Through the line chart, we can easily draw the conclusion that before 2:00 pm, the number of radio audiences was larger than that of TV viewers. (that 引导的同位语从句)

　　考生们如果能够熟练掌握并列句和复合句，再搭配以非限定动词作伴随状语，在雅思写作中已经可以游刃有余地呈现万千变换，自在娴熟地表达自己的思想了。

　　综上所述，学术类雅思小作文写作，虽然只有短短的20 分钟，寥寥150 个单词，却可谓步步惊心，马虎不得。但只要考生们大量阅读范文、揣摩体会其中的通篇构思、段落衔接、遣词造句等，多多积累，反复练习，避开本文中提到的雷区，能够厚积薄发，取得的成绩。

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