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杨璇:SAT作文常见错误归纳

2014/07/2303:39来源:互联网  

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  【名师简介】杨璇:北京新航道学校雅思写作主讲、SAT写作主讲。香港城市大学传播与新媒体硕士,北京大学英语学士。英语功底深厚,对于雅思写作和SAT写作有独到的研究。授课风格深入浅出、讲练结合、能够针对学生写作水平直击弱点并有效提分。

  在SAT作文中,很多考生在语法方面的失误和表义上的含糊不清直接导致了语言质量的下降,甚至很多时候无法让考官理解他们所要表达的意思,因而使作文停留在6分-8分的阶段而无法更进一步。句子结构,也因此成为很多同学的“痛脚”之一。在本文中会根据同学的实战演练,对作文中经常出现的各种错误加以概括和总结,使同学们更好的了解语法和表义方面一些频繁出现的错误,从而更好的改善自己作文的语言质量。

  错误一:句子结构冗余或缺失

  很多同学虽然对于基本的句子结构条条是道,娓娓道来,真正应用在自己所写的长句中的时候,却容易顾此失彼,错误百出。很多时候是因为过于关注句子的长度和用词的难度,却忽略了基本的主谓宾搭配已经歪曲了。

  Steve Jobs, the brilliant and talented leader of Apple, who wins the battle in harsh consumer market with great creativity.

  Thomas Edison who was one of the greatest inventors in the history. In his life, the most famous and important invention was electric light.

  这两个句子反映了7分左右的考生最常见的语法错误。因为用比较长的同位语或定语从句来修饰句子的主语,却忘记了这个句子其实已经没有谓语动词了。

  According to those two examples, that’s why I agree that those people who are confident and optimistic can change their lives easily.

  这个句子则是出现了另一个极端,according to…., that is why…表义过于重复。完全可以去掉其中的一个结构。

  错误二:连词的误用

  很多同学都明白,在基本的语法规则里,两个句子之间一定要有连词来过渡和衔接。但是真正动笔的时候,却仍然是一“逗”到底,完全不考虑是否应该根据句意间的关系来添加连词或者把副词和介词混用为连词。

  Despite many other company are capable of producing such ordinary goods, Steve Jobs uses creativity to distinguish his products and apple from the crowd.

  Despite和in spite of类似,都是介词,后面应该接sth或doing sth,而不能够引导一个完整的句子。

  The reason is because confidence and optimism can give people stimulation and impel them to achieve their goals.

  Because是引导状语从句的连词,而不能够放在be动词后面,引导一个表语从句。这里应该把because换成that,引导表示陈述语气的表语从句。

  However, during the time of inventing it, Edison had thousands of failures, but he never complained about that.

  这里使用了太多的转折连词。However表示和上文形成语气上的转折,而后面一句又用了but,语气过于跳跃,让读者很难跟得上作者的思路。

  错误三:逻辑主语不一致

  分词结构能够很好的丰富文章的语法结构,从而改善整篇文章的语言质量。但是如果用doing或done在句首或句尾的位置做状语,则必须要注意这个动词和整个句子的主语要存在逻辑上的主谓关系。很多同学都想当然的根据自己的思路在句子中加上doing sth来表示原因或者结果,但却没有考虑好这个逻辑上的主被动关系是否存在。

  His products are well-known for the unique design, adding strong functions like tapping fingers to control the phone.

  这句话中adding functions的动作和主语products之间实际上是被动的关系,“产品”被“添加”上了功能,因此应该用added,而并非是adding。

  Testing to have an extremely harsh disease, Stephen was predicated to live on only 2 years.

  这句话中的错误类似,Stephen Hawking应该是被检测出患有严重的疾病,因此应该改为“tested”表示被动。

  错误四:基本语法错误,主谓一致,名词的单复数,时态等等

  这里指的是很多已经达到9分或10分的同学们仍然会在“时间紧,任务重”的考场上出现很多基本的语法错误,例如单复数错误,拼写错误,时态误用等等。而这就需要同学们在动笔时有意识的注意一些基本的语法规则,尽量减少这类错误的出现。

  Nowadays, people are facing much more difficulties to be unique but creativity is a trait that worth tracing because it is well-rewarded.

  Worth是形容词,因此应该在前面加上be动词。

  I totally agree that people who are confident and optimistic can change their lives easier than those people who are pessimistic.

  Easy是形容词,这里应该换成副词more easily。

  When people have adversities, many people begin to complain the unfortunate situation, …

  Complain通常作为不及物动词出现,“抱怨某事”应该加上介词about。

  错误五:过渡过于生硬,频繁使用连词

  有些同学受雅思托福作文的影响,总是试图把引用名人事例写成了分条列点的推理结构,因此出现了非常僵化的“一二三四五”的结构。例如:

  Firstly, when Charles was 5, his little brother drowned in their mother’s backyard laundry tub in spite of Ray’s frantic efforts to save him. Secondly, Charles’ eyes began to mysteriously fail him. By the age of 7, Charles was blind. After that, he lost his beloved mother.

  这一段的问题非常明显,作者应该讲述一个故事,描述发生在Ray Charles身上的各种不幸,而不是一条一条的按顺序列举出他面临的困难,从而破坏了文章的连贯性(cohesion)。

  错误六:论证过于抽象

  有些同学仍然对于SAT作文的高分标准有着错误的认知,认为越是艰难晦涩的文字,越是高端的用词,越能够得到高分。实际上对于一篇作文而言,逻辑的清楚而深刻,用词的恰当和简洁才是更重要的。语法结构可以适当的丰富,但是并不是无限度的使用抽象用词甚至让人难以理解作者的思路。例如:

  “However” is always being seen. Sometimes the theorem testified to be quite true can be a paradox when scrutinized from a different angle.

  这篇作文是论证Is there always another explanation or another point of view?这个题目。可以看出,“theorem”,“paradox”,“scrutinize”等用词实际上使这个句子显得别扭而拗口。

  Change the glasses in front of your eyes and the world can be different.

  “Glass in front of your eyes”出现在这里有些突然。

  It makes people’s cognizance more objective and triggers a comprehensive realization.

  这句话里面的cognizance和realization都比较抽象,不如换成更明确表义的词语。

  Individual is a main factor.

  这是 Can a small group of concerned individuals have a significant impact on the world?这篇作文的开头段中的一个句子。很明显,individual究竟是什么的重要因素,在这里没有明确的指明,因而很突兀,而且空泛。

  错误七:连用小短句

  这个错误和上一个正好相反。有些同学不善于组织各个句子间的逻辑关系,而且把很多小短句罗列在一起,虽然语法上没有什么大的失误,但是却使整个段落的结构零散而分散,缺少整体的逻辑性。例如:

  My family used to live in a village, but my parents went to urban to work and I to study. It was a long distance, so we had to spend an average of 3.5 hours in our car everyday. We had to get up early to set out and return home late at night.

  这个小段落里包括了五个短句来交代“我”的家庭背景,非常琐碎。

  Liu Xiang is a famous runner in China. We have also seen him as the pride of China until recently. Back then in 2004 Olympics, Liu Xiang astonished the world by getting the first place, Chinese were so excited.

  这个句群里一共有四个句子,交代了Liu Xiang的身份,荣誉,获奖,中国人的反映等,实际上完全可以再简练些,合并为两个到三个长句。

  以上是笔者在同学们的SAT作文中总结的几个常见的表达错误,希望同学们能够引以为戒,更好的改善自己文章的语言质量。

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